Six form was probably my favourite high school year. Although I still had some challenges, I loved the subjects I was taking. It was unfortunate that I didn’t think past sixth form when I took subjects such as mass media, psychology and childcare as none of these classes carried on to the seventh form. I also took a computer class I think and I didn’t seem that phased about repeating fifth form mathematics which I had failed by a freckle.

It was unfortunate that I had the same maths teacher again and he had no sympathy for my situation whatsoever. As far as he was concerned I was a menace (he was one of the teachers who did not enjoy my chatter). At some point during the year he had enough of me and kicked me out of the class for the rest of the year and I was sent to the “cells”. My memory of the cells is quite vague but I think there were cubicles the naughty children (like me apparently) were assigned to. I don’t recall other kids being there that often and there would be a teacher who checked in periodically, only to supervise, not providing any learning opportunities. Somehow or another, I learnt enough to pass maths and I don’t mind saying it wasn’t a flash score but a “pass is a pass”. I pretty much taught myself for the rest of that year so I should of gotten extra points or something. Even though it was a pretty weak score, it was a moment of achievement and a “eff you” to the teacher who was a dick to me.

As for my other subjects, psychology and childcare were both interesting, but mass media was my thing. We learnt how to write newspaper articles, we dabbled in a bit of radio and we even shot some amateur video. I managed to get a couple of certificates for things I had submitted to the Waikato Times (newspaper). I think mass media was how I got involved in the Stagequest and I was part of the team who created the soundtrack. I was rather pleased when I managed to get some drum music from Sepultura (a heavy metal band) onto the soundtrack as they were not everybody’s cup of tea shall we say. We even got to go to the radio station to put our soundtrack onto a CD. It was pretty cool being on stage at the Founders Theatre hearing the soundtrack I helped create play while we acted out our parts.

I’ve never thought I was a very creative person as I’m not very good at arts and craft or drawing, but I guess my creativity has always been more to do with writing and photography (although my photography interest didn’t come until later). I love that I am interested in these subjects again.

I was definitely in a better place in sixth form. I don’t think my confidence was as poor, at least my eye problems were isolated to one area. It was just unfortunate to be in a place people usually focus on. No matter how shit I was feeling, I would do my best to make eye contact with people. Partly out of respect and partly to support my self-esteem or something. 

As with the eczema, good old mum was trying to find ways of curing my red eyes. She started taking me to the acupuncturist. I remember on one occasion he was going to put  needles in the corner of my eyes (near the bridge of my nose). When he said it might give me black eyes, I started to feel queasy and like I might faint. After sitting up for a while and feeling better, I agreed to lay back down and let him insert the needles. Fortunately, I didn’t get black eyes but unfortunately his treatment didn’t seem to help. Mum would usually take me there at lunch time. He used to burn this stuff called moxa and it smelt suspiciously like marijuana and it would absorb into your clothes. I would go back to school smelling like I’d been smoking weed and of course I had the red eyes to suit. I gave up explaining myself.

I started to think, well if people think I’m stoned, maybe I should play the part (I was really only an occasional smoker, experimenting more than anything). Deep down, I didn’t like the idea of people thinking that about me, but somehow being a stoner felt better than being the girl with the red eyes. I think it was probably around that time that I thought I might sell a little bit of marijuana as I had access to a small amount and I was selling a few “tinnies” here and there ($20 worth wrapped in tinfoil which would at that time roll quite a few joints). It turns out that I was not very discreet and somebody told a teacher about my endeavours. Somehow or another, my mother managed to downplay the seriousness of the matter and I ended up in the counsellors office instead of the principals office.  I think I got pretty lucky there, although it was another conversation with my parents that I just didn’t enjoy. I think they recognized that some of my behaviour was about trying to fit in.

There would be a few of those uncomfortable conversations over the years and I think for the most part my parents were pretty fair on me, because they knew that I was going through hard times. As I recall these events, I think it’s probably fair to say I contributed to any grey hairs that may have sprouted for my parents at this time. I thought I was a pretty good kid bit I think I’m sounding more like a little shit.

By sixth form, my big group of mates were getting invited regularly to parties. The parties we went to were far different than any American high school movies.  There were no luxurious two storied houses or pool parties (well not at the parties I went to). For the most part, the parties we went to were outside and they usually spilled out down the driveway and sometimes onto the road. They were usually eventful in some way and there’d always be gossip sessions at school the next week about what happened.

On one occasion, my parents had gone away for the night and they had allowed me to stay home by myself on the condition that I didn’t have any parties. I made sure to invite a handful of friends over, but it was all very innocent. We dragged the trampoline into the garage and set ourselves up to watch some movies.  We had a great old time. During the evening, two of my friends (they were a couple) decided to go for a “walk”. I don’t recall the remaining friends talking too much about it, but I was shocked to find out the next day that they had left a present in the downstairs toilet. When my parents came home, they approached me to discuss what they had found and unbeknown to me, the “walk” my friends went on had involved the use of a condom which they apparently had not flushed on return to my house. I was pretty shocked as the girl in question was a “goody good” in my view. My answer to my parents was quite frank, “well of course it wasn’t mine, I would of made sure it was flushed”. At the time I’m pretty sure I was still a virgin, so I’m not sure how they took my answer. Pretty gold if I do say so myself.

Even though I enjoyed my sixth form subjects a lot better, I certainly didn’t excel, I only went to school to socialize I think and to hear about the parties. I have no idea how I paid for alcohol to go to any of these parties as I had long passed my paper run over to my sister.  I must of been good at saving my pocket money.

When it came to the end of the sixth form, I had to pick my seventh form subjects. It was at that stage I realized that I had made a bit of a faux pas with the subjects I had chosen. I managed to find a couple of subjects to do in seventh form, but I was in real trouble. I think I only found two subjects I could take, sixth form english (which I didn’t take previously, in favour of mass media) and possibly I might of taken another computer class. As you can imagine, I had a lot of free time, although I managed to pick up a little bit of work experience through school and did some Dictaphone typing at Elders Pastoral. I was an pretty good touch typist by this stage, but it was not easy trying to spell the names of all of the cow breeds for a “townie”.

It was only a few months into the year that I decided that I’d had enough of high school and that I would try my hand at Polytechnic. With some help from the career guidance folk (I think), I was all enrolled to start a certificate of office technology at the Waikato Polytechnic. I think I started in June 1995 not long after I left school.

I was so excited to leave school, although for some reason I never got a leaving certificate and it obviously bothered me as over the years I would have a recurring dream of going to school to sort it out (I never did). I think it’s fair to say that I am a person who values closure.

As you can tell, I had some pretty tough times but you can’t underestimate the social support having friends gives you. I certainly had some good times, it was just unfortunate the anxiety, depression and insomnia were deeply    imprinted as by now I had been going through “the allergies” for six years.

Join me next time when I talk about my adventures at Polytechnic, my entry into the workforce and adulthood.